bAby_kULeT

I went through my blog. It’s been a long time since my last post. I guess I should make an update. Yeah right.. Thanks to my blog. I can express my emotions. i need it badly. Coz I can’t take it anymore. Being able to get things off my chest will make me feel so much better. I have friends who have time to listen.  But keeping weighty matters to myself is a choice. It’s not that I don’t trust them. I just want to test myself if I could go through it. I know I will. I don’t need someone to save me. I could save myself from this. I have faith in me and I know after all these things, i will be a better person and much stronger than I was..

You are fine
You are sweet
But I’m still a bit naive with my heart
When you’re close I don’t breathe
I can’t find the words to speak
I feel sparks
But I don’t wanna be into you
If you are not looking for true love, oh oh
No I don’t wanna start seeing you
If I can’t be your only one

[Chorus]
When it’s not alright
When it’s not ok
Will you try to make me feel better
Will you say alright? (say alright)
Will you say ok? (Say ok)
Will you stick with me through whatever?
Or run away
(Say that it’s gonna be alright. That it’s gonna be ok)
Say OK
(Don’t run away, don’t run away)
(Say that it’s gonna be alright. That it’s gonna be ok, don’t run away)
Will you say OK
(Say that it’s gonna be alright. That it’s gonna be ok)

everything is fine with me and HIM..

i never thought we’d be like this..

-friends,, a lifetime relationship..

happy ending.. ♥♥♥

i just turned 18 this october.. i was happy with everything in my life until one day.. my dad told me that they decided to move and find a new house somewhere in North.. they are tired of traveling from cavite to makati and vice versa, so they find a place to live in near their office.. i only have two options left,, go with them and transfer to another  school or stay here in cavite and still go to lasalle dasma.. i don’t want to transfer school because it would be harder for me.. they wanted me to stay here at our house instead of looking for a dorm.. maybe,, it’s time to be an independent woman.. so,, i’ll take it as a challenge.. i’ll be responsible for myself and i won’t break their trust.. so,, i hope that i could make it.. i know i will..

We do almost everything

That lovers do

And that’s why it’s hard

Just to be friends with you

And every time your heart is broken by the fool
I want you to know

That it hurts me too

It’s hard to wipe your tears away

Knowing that you should be with me, tell meWhy, why are we still friends

When everything says

We should be more than we are

And tell me why

Every time I find someone that I like

We always end up just being friends

I would hate for you to find somebody new

Who you really love

Cause it would mean losing you

But am I a fool girl not to say

If I’m always scared I’ll lose you anyway

Somehow somewhere I’ve got to choose

Got to choose no matter if it’s win or lose

I don’t want to be like your sister

I don’t want to be your best friend

I only want to be your lover

When will this end?

If I told you that I want to be in your life?

If you could be the woman in mine

What you see is what you get.. I know you’re
saying things against me but it won’t be long until you know about me.. this is
who I am, there’s no need for you to understand. and when you see what I’ve got,
I won’t give a damn about your sorry ass.. all I can do is to be true to
myself, I never pretend to be something I’m not..

I hate the way you walk,
hate the way you talk,
hate the way you look at me..
I hate the way you smile,
hate those big brown eyes,
coz I know they’re not for me..

I hate thinking of you,
coz everytime I do,
I just keep on missing you..
And I hate the way I feel everytime you’re near,
coz it feels like time is standing still..

I hate it when you’re blue,
and how I cared for you..
hate the way my heart desires..
and I hate those sleepless nights,
and the pain I kept inside,
but I keep on pretending it’s alright..

But we can never be more than friends
and it hurts me..
Everytime I close my eyes,
all I see is you..

I don’t know what to do,
Hate me for loving you..
Coz I know it’s wrong for me to say
I LOVE YOU

here i go again,, expressing my thoughts,, feelings and emotions through writing.. haaaayyy.. i often catch myself talking to myself about things i’d rather not to open up to anybody else.. honestly,, i love telling my stories,, problems and feelings to my friends and those who are close to me.. i’m trying to be introvert.. and i guess,, now i am.. i keep weighty personal matters to myself.. we all have our dirty little secrets anyway.. that’s why to all those who love talking shit about me,, go ahead.. what you think of me is none of my business..

you’re starting to GAIN my TRUST again and i’m starting to feel COMFORTABLE with you as well.. i can be easily affected by what other people say about me though i’m trying to make myself strong.. so i guessed,, being with you is a BIG DEAL to other people.. that’s why i decided not to see you again for the mean time.. i’m not CLOSING my DOORS to you.. actually,, i really wanted to make PEACE with our PAST.. i don’t wanna be BITTER forever about it.. we started as casual friends,, nagkakatext pa nga minsan diba?? tinatakot mo pa ako.. pero dahil nga sa pangyayaring yun,, NASIRA lahat.. though WE’RE DRUNK,, i still feel AWKWARD.. damn! hindi naman kita boyfriend tapos na-*** **** mo ako and all that crap!! i’m trying my best to forget it,, but it’s not as simple as that.. yung pinaka-minahal koh,, almost 2yrs na kami nung nagawa yun at ONE TIME lang tapos ikaw??? di na ako galit,, napatawad na kita dahil di naman pwedeng saio koh lang isisi ang lahat.. IF THERE’S SOMEBODY WHO’S RESPONSIBLE FOR MYSELF,, IT SHOULD BE ME NOT ANYBODY ELSE.. pero napatawad koh na din sarili koh,, i’ve learned my lesson well though IT HIT ME BIG TIME.. now that it seems like we’re starting all over again,, i guess i’m not yet ready..  i am someone who always think of what others will say about me.. and i’m scared of rejection.. i am doing this to protect my name.. if you want FRIENDSHIP,, i can GIVE it IN TIME.. but i wanted you to know that what happened to us that fucking night have left marks for me to remember it all the time..

The road I have traveled on
Is paved with good intentions
It’s glittered with broken dreams
That never quite came true

When all of my hopes were dying
Her love kept me trying
She does her best to hide
The pain that she’s been through

When she cries, at night
and she doesn’t think that i can hear her
She tries, to hide
All the fear she feels inside
So I pray, this time
I can be the man that she deserves
Cause I die, a little each time
When she cries

She’s always been there for me
Whenever I’ve fallen
When no body else believes
She’ll be there by my side
I don’t know how she takes it
Just once I’d like to make it
Then there’ll be tears of joy
To fill her loving eyes

When she cries, at night
and she doesn’t think that i can hear her
She tries, to hide
All the fear she feels inside
So I pray, this time
I can be the man that she deserves
Cause I die, a little each time
When she cries

So I pray, this time
I can be the man that she deserves
Cause I die, alittle each time
When she cries